Lies you tell in relationships

“You’re not getting fat.”
You could lose a few extra pounds.

 

“No, your butt doesn’t look too big.”
Nice ass.

 

“I didn’t spend that much.”
So what if I did.

 

“I didn’t get your text.”
I didn’t feel like texting.

 

“Your parents are fine.”
I can’t fucking stand them.

 

“No, your hair is not a mess.”
You look like a rag-doll.

 

“The sex was great.”
That was terrible.

 

“Sure, you can bring your friends.”
I hope you don’t bring your friends.

 

“I wasn’t up all night.”
Okay, I was. Big deal.

 

“I don’t watch porn.”
I watch porn when I’m not with you.

 

“I’m busy.”
I don’t want to talk right now.

 

“Sure, you can.”
You just wait…

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