Names for Disney Movies

Peter Pan = Puck Man

If I pucker my lips, I become a “grown up.” I’ll try it, but I’m going back to Neverland…

 

Cinderella = C U Later

Hurry up. Dance with my prince. Run home. Maybe I’ll see him again, maybe I won’t. Wait, he’s got my shoe…

 

Aladdin = All In

I can’t be myself. I must go all out. Wear flashy clothes, and brush my hair — to look handsome and worth a lot of money. Pray to god no one gets caught in my web of lies.

 

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs = A Stupid White Chick and Seven Dorks

The house must be clean. I can’t focus if it isn’t — especially with the seven roommates of mine who think I’m hot. Why? It couldn’t be because you’re the only chick in the area.

 

Beauty and the Beast = Bitch and the Bastard

If I could, I would spend all my time reading and dreaming — or simply scaring people away with my appearance. But wait, there’s more to life then this — show me?

 

Sleeping Beauty = Stupid Bitch

I’m just sleeping, sleeping, sleeping, and sleeping — my life away. When will my prince come and wake me up? Never? Okay — I guess that’s fine…

 

Pocahontas = Poke Your Ass

Hey dudes and chicks — did you know there’s more to life then killing creatures and owning land you have no right too? Do I need to stick a stick up your ass to get the message? — oh I can’t it has to be PG.

 

Mulan = Moron

I need to disguise myself as a man to bring honor to my family — being a woman isn’t enough. If I look like — act like a boy, I’m more likely to be accepted.

 

(Hundreds/thousands of years ago. It wouldn’t work in 2014, people can sense bullshit miles away.)

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