Let’s pretend this is Twitter

In 140 characters or less babble nonsense…

 

-Dicks don’t solve problems, they create them.

-How many dumbasses does it take to screw a light bulb? None because they’re too stupid to figure it out!

-I wish I was drunk right now.

-Why are people so fucking stupid?

-Motherfuckers, stop emailing me! I’m not in college anymore!

-Thanks for the invitation, but you’re aware I don’t like you and still don’t give a fuck?

-I rather masturbate than have sex with you.

-I’m getting high off caffeine.

-My hair is yellow.

-Why does my butt look weird? I need to get my eyes checked.

-Two face lifts, plastic tits, and you’re still ugly? Go buy yourself a personality. Bitch.

-The point in life is to get drunk.

 

#Annoying #ExBoyfriend
999

Can I hang you? #DontTextMe #Whoareyou
ooo

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