Really going on

The truth is, I can’t tell you.
I don’t like what I do.
I’m not happy with what I do.
If anything I’m disgusted with what I do.
All it is a paycheck to me.
I know I can’t make plans or have a future without it.
I ask myself if it’s worth it and I don’t know why, it’s not.
I was happier when I was broke, having very little to get by.
I had less stress and conflict in my life.
I could actually see my boyfriend, eat, and sleep like a normal person.
I get a few hours now.
In the morning, I don’t induce vomiting yet still throw up my coffee.
I don’t think it’s the coffee.
I know nothing I do is worth it yet I do it anyway.
It’s no longer clear to me what or who I am fighting for.
Besides to get the hell away from this place.
 

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