“Think about it, why are you going back that way?”

I have too many issues and I can’t commit my life away to someone.

 

No one was asking you too. You’re at the point you settle down.

 

Like what? Get married and have kids?

 

Yes. Isn’t that what you want?

 

No. The idea of marriage and kids repulse me.

 

Why? Love is a beautiful thing.

 

It’s disgusting, confusing, and scary.

 

It can create wonderful things.

 

So can Mother Nature.

 

You love him?

 

Yes but I can’t commit to him.

 

You can if you want too, you choose not too.

 

It’s not that simple. You need to be physically, emotionally, and mentally in place for that to happen. I lack the assets, am bored and indifferent, and know that’s because I am who I am and can’t change.

 

You could if you wanted too.

No. I don’t think you understand. You don’t know me, he doesn’t know me. When I get bored and feel nothing, I tend to wander off. When I wander off I explore and find something I like. I take it, know the consequences of it and don’t care — life is too short. I would hate to miss out on something because one douchebag held me back from living my life.

 

What if you loved the douchebag and he did it for your own good?

He doesn’t have the capacity to think about what’s good for me, only what’s good for him. I have the capacity but don’t use it on him.

 

You’re intentionally bad?

I just know what I want, want what I want, and don’t care.

 

Are you a cheat?

Once a cheat, always a cheat. Be my friend by all means, nothing more. We can hookup but we can’t date. It doesn’t matter how good you are in bed, how hot you are, what you do, if you’re funny, etc. It matters how fast you run.

 

When did this start?

A few Decembers ago, I “travelled” to a cardboard box shaped house I have known.

 

You loved him?

No, we had a lot of fun though. He cheated on me. I found him on numerous dating websites.

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