My mother dressed me in pink because it made me happy.
I drank my father’s beer thinking it was Pepsi.
I pushed a boy off his bike because my oldest sister told me too.
A boy kissed me and I thought I was pregnant.
I fell asleep on the bus and missed my stop — on my birthday.
I told someone in class, “I make my barbies have sex” and she ratted on me — I still thought sex was kissing.
My best friend’s last name was Lemonhart.
I learned how to swim.
“Hey Arnold” came out, I liked Helga because she reminded me of me.
I danced “Opps I did it again” in a talent show.
I vandalized a park with toilet paper, broke a fountain, and had an angry mob chase after me and my friend.
Dealt with being the new kid in school and questioned why I pretended to like someone I didn’t like.
I had the first boy to cheat on me and the first boy I’d have to dump.
I ran track, I hate it, and everyone hated me; I was slow and they mocked me for being fat and ugly.
I thought I liked some asshole from middle school.
First real kiss but with someone I met online from Argentina.
Got drunk, danced around a fire, and attempted to go skinny dipping with my clothes on.
I had a purity ring, which I lost.
I had sex with a virgin in a hotel.
I slept with two guys named Chris.
The first date with my boyfriend, he told me loved me and I called him crazy.
I smashed my laptop writing an Archaeology paper and decided to major in Creative Writing instead of Anthropology.
Developed my ice coffee addiction, 3 a day and back seat of car full of cups.
My mother was diagnosed with cancer.
I got another pregnancy scare…