Honest Facebook profile

Does it exist? Maybe, maybe not. They only allow you to do so much. This is sort of a test for me to figure it out. I’ll try to fill it out to the best of my knowledge.

 

Intro
 

Describe who you are
(101 characters or less)

I’m a 9th house Scorpio with an Aquarius moon and rising in the 1st house. You’ll never get me.

 

Overview
 

Graduated
Studied Creative Writing at State University of New York at * in 2015.
Past: Humanities concentration: Liberal Arts and Humanities at * Community College in 2013.
* High school in 2008.

 
Kicked out of/resigned out of
Liberal Arts at * Community College in 2010.
Social Science concentration: Liberal Arts and Humanities at * Community College in 2009.
Psychology concentration: Liberal Arts at * Community College in 2009.

 

Current city
___ (Why?)

Hometown
___ (Too ashamed of the town to mention it.)

Birthday
November, 7 1989

 

Contact and Basic info
 

Basic information
Interested In: Women and Men (But no one really…)
Languages: English, know some French and Russian.
Religious views: New Age
Political party: Whatever
Description: I’m registered as a “Green” member but somedays I’m more Independent. I was previously declared “Independent”.

 

Family and Relationships

Relationship
In a relationship but it’s hidden and says I’m single? Don’t ask me why, it’s his fault for being an asshole and not accepting my relationship request.

 

Family members
You want me to list all my family members on Facebook? WHY? So you can stalk them, judge me, or judge them? I’m good. (Potentially single now for real, think I just dumped him?)

 

 

P.S. Now you figured out why I don’t say anything on Facebook anymore.

Advertisements

Weird survey

Do you eat plastic?
No but I chew on it.

 

What is your political party?
Other.

Please specify: I don’t care.

 

What is your sexual orientation?
Other.

Please specify: Whoever I like.

 

Where do you think the country is headed?
Hell.

 

Do you own a raccoon?
No but have you seen my makeup after a wild night?

 

Do you eat tires?
No but you saw that video too?

 

Are you married?
Are you single?
 

May I have your number if any other opportunities arise?
No because I haven’t seen your picture. I don’t know if I would sleep with you.

Let’s pretend this is Facebook

Status update:

-If he can’t make plans, why do you waste your time? He’s just using you. You could do so much better.
-Be with someone that’s worth then a minute of your time.
-I ran a mile in 6 minutes.
-They call me, “Monster.”
-Don’t call me Taylor Swift, I DISLIKE her. I rather have you call me Kesha, I LOVE her. We probably have more in common too.
-Don’t call me “babe” I’m not your fucking girlfriend. You’re some creep that magically got my number. We never met.
-Ya’ll are dumb and a waste of my time.
-I don’t want to see your fucking selfie.

Pictures of selfies:

14161761535693

60670_4659445405366_1034463245_n

62119_1605837827085_1270331672_1679765_4457087_n

Let’s pretend this is Twitter

In 140 characters or less babble nonsense…

 

-Dicks don’t solve problems, they create them.

-How many dumbasses does it take to screw a light bulb? None because they’re too stupid to figure it out!

-I wish I was drunk right now.

-Why are people so fucking stupid?

-Motherfuckers, stop emailing me! I’m not in college anymore!

-Thanks for the invitation, but you’re aware I don’t like you and still don’t give a fuck?

-I rather masturbate than have sex with you.

-I’m getting high off caffeine.

-My hair is yellow.

-Why does my butt look weird? I need to get my eyes checked.

-Two face lifts, plastic tits, and you’re still ugly? Go buy yourself a personality. Bitch.

-The point in life is to get drunk.

 

#Annoying #ExBoyfriend
999

Can I hang you? #DontTextMe #Whoareyou
ooo

tumblr_mcvsxo00su1qejsjco3_r1_500

 

Facebook you vs. Real you

In a relationship = I didn’t want to put it out there but my partner is suspicious.

Single = I am not single, I’m in a relationship. I hope my partner doesn’t know I’m seeing other people.

Married = I am tied down for the rest of my life. If I cheat, nobody has a clue expect my partner. Everyone else thinks I’m great.

 

Status: “It was a beautiful day out. So thankful for my friends and family that came out. <3” = It was a horrible day. I can’t stand them but I’m going to pretend I do.

 

11109322_10153845543173976_7448414529116286598_n facebook-you-real-you-07 web top-15-facebook-you-vs-real-you-4

Still wanna date me?

 

Facebook Use

When it comes to dating, we want to know what we are getting into before we make that commitment. A way to do that before we agree to setup a date — Facebook. What a person has on their timeline says a lot about them.

If they don’t post a lot, they have a job or don’t care much about social media. If they frequently post, it can tell you a lot about their activities or opinions. If they have a lot of pictures of them hanging out at the bar, you probably want to run. If they are conservative and you’re not, you probably want to run. You shouldn’t read into what goes on their timeline but you should read red flags.

If they have a lot of friends, they either know a lot of people in real life or added a lot of people on Facebook. Don’t mistake their status’, likes, or friendships for them actually having a life. In reality, they could be spending their Friday night on Facebook. If they have a few friends or their friend list isn’t showing, you have to get to know them to know about their relationships. They are private and do not have shallow relationships. It’s obvious on the surface they are not self-promoters.

If they take a lot of selfies, they have way too much time on their hands. Think about it… How much time does it take to a picture, edit it, and select the proper one? A couple of hours. Now if you’re doing that multiple times a week, you have nothing better to do. Would you want to date someone that isn’t productive and probably conceited, shallow, and lonely? Probably not. You know they’re going to be more self-concerned.

If they like or comment on a bunch of things, they are impulsive and bored. It’s not a bad thing unless they have an addiction to social media. When they start doing questionable things, you should probably talk to them. By talk to them, I mean really talk to them. Don’t message them on Facebook or send a text message. The only thing you should talk to them about is what is on their mind. Don’t bring up what they do on Facebook unless you have a reason like you saw a photo of them tagged with another girl/guy.

Facebook and Twitter Etiquette For Dummies

Facebook

 

Who to add…

People you actually know or met. There’s no problem adding ‘fans’ or ‘strangers’ if you know they aren’t some psychopath, criminal, or pervert — and you actually talked to them somewhere.

 

Try not to add…

Colleagues, professors, bosses, or co-workers. It is weird for them, and it is weird for you. If you do, do both of you a favor and don’t complain about work, life, or relationships. You have to be ‘professional’.

 

Avoid comments turning into a…

Private message or forum. Then everyone gets to know your business, thoughts, and feelings. That’s not something you want…

 

Status overload…

Selfies, rants, videos, or articles. Although some people like it, not everyone is going to. And yeah, yeah… there’s that whole ‘I don’t care if they like it or not’ — and right you shouldn’t!

…You’re entitled to your thoughts, feelings, and what you put out there. You don’t need to constantly share it with people who may be shallow or just not care.

 

 

Twitter

 

Follow…

Whoever you want.

 

Post…

Whatever you want. But if you’re posting twenty tweets every hour maybe you need to rethink…

 

Don’t post…

Whatever you want. You know you’re reaching more people then Facebook, right? If you start hate talking people, spreading conspiracies, and terror — the government will find you.

 

Telling people to follow you…

They will follow you. It’s okay, it’s fine for business — a lot of people have done it. However, there’s people that become OBSESSED with how many followers they get. It becomes a drug. It can turn a good person into a narcissistic, just like Facebook.

 

 

Facebook and Twitter…

 

This is just words from a persons experience. Everyone is different.

…How obsessed are you with getting likes, comments, tweets, and re-tweets?

What. Why.
Who cares? You shouldn’t care.
They don’t really care.
You know who cares…

Why I avoid you

Behind the doors I hear,

“She didn’t say goodbye when she leaved.”

Excuse me, when is the last time you talked to me?

Last I knew you were speaking of how stupid and bitchy I am and how annoying, rude, and an ass my boyfriend is — behind my back.

You come around here and you ask me if I want to go out and do thing with you — like we are close or something.

That’s funny, when is the last time we texted? Years ago. When is the last time we hung out when I felt you weren’t judging me or trying to start an argument.

The truth hurts. We may be blood but we have nothing in common. Unlike you, I won’t pretend or make an effort. Can’t help I have a low opinion after I witnessed all of this and you seeking attention on social media for years.

Now I sound like an ass just like you all wanted. I am the bad guy because I won’t pretend. So shoot me because you don’t have the balls to speak, think, and act yourself.

Asssessment: Reactivate Facebook

It’s been days
I can’t help but wonder…

What has changed?
What have I missed?

Nothing.

Same people posting selfies.
Same people crying and complaining.
Same people posting quotes and preaching.

Ah, I remember…

These people aren’t my ‘friends’ or ‘family’
My friends would have texted me when I was gone
My family I have been with most of this time

Not on social media

Oh and my ‘mate’

I been with the past three days, came home today.

(Surprise, just because I’m posting things… doesn’t mean I don’t have a life.)

Did I tell the world? No.

Did he? No.

…Now back to the drawing board…

 

The Real Drawing Board…

LIFE.

Deactivate Facebook = Sanity

Seriously.

Yes.

It’s been two days.

I feel like a parasite has been removed from my brain.

I can think and feel. Oh my god. I’m not a robot, I’m a human being.

I’m redirecting my focus on other things.

So Facebook = Faceless much better.

Not pretending to be what I’m not for strangers.

Not hiding who I am for strangers.

I know who my real friends are.

I am happier in the real world.

You should be too.