12 Deeds of Xmas

  1. Almost arrested for underage drinking in a club in Texas.
  2. Danced with 14 men in one night, some old enough to be my father.
  3. Went to a Christmas formal, got drunk, and had sex with a guy I met once and took me out on my 21st birthday.
  4. Got drunk off jello shots and madeout with a stranger at party when I was ‘in a relationship.’
  5. Plotted revenge on a cheating ex by joining a dating website and actually finding someone on there.
  6. Hooked up with my ex around his birthday while I was technically single but still in a relationship with my boyfriend.
  7. Got drunk and knocked over shelves in a video store.
  8. Talked to a monkey statue and took a picture of the plant on the toilet behind me in a public restroom.
  9. Blew off a guy I had a threesome with.
  10. Lead some jackass on for no reason.
  11. Gave my number to a bunch of strangers.
  12. Hooked up with someone the day after our relationship was ‘over’ but it wasn’t.
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My dear

You’re funny
you’re cute
you’ve a job
that’s cool

I can’t be with you
I’m older and more arrogant
than you

I don’t know how much experience
you have but I think I have more
I have a list of things I’ve done
and know what I’m capable of

I will use you like I’ve used the rest
keep you as an option in case
it doesn’t work with someone else
hook up with you once or a couple of times
kick you to the curb and get back with someone else

Nothing you say or do will
change me
break me
convince me
phase me

I don’t care about you
I don’t even care about myself
there’s only a few people I care about enough
to make some sort of an effort not to resort back to old self
some old teachers remind me
I’m only human

College ‘memories’

First attempt at community college

It was a local school kids like me went to because they believed what their guidance counselor said, “You’re too stupid to go to a four year school.”

#1 My first year, my professor made me read my paper on my anorexia to the class. The room was silent and intense.

#2 I drove a red Buick I paid $500 for.

#3 Not doing my work or studying, academic probation.

#4 Sent my professor a nasty email claiming that he talks to us like we are high schoolers (yeah he failed me but mainly because I didn’t do my work).

#5 Took Abnormal Psychology and began to see everyone around me as lunatics.

#6 Academic probation.

#7 A year or so off of school and never going back there…

 

 

Second attempt at community college

#1 My intent was to be a Physical Education major at a school 2 hours away in the city my boyfriend lived. We broke up and I changed it to Liberal Arts: Humanities and Social Science with a concentration in Humanities. I did my entire Associates degree online.

#2 There was a lot of writing and research, if not more than what I would be doing at my next school as a writing major.

#3 My intent was to move on with a four year degree in Anthropology until I smashed my laptop one day writing a 20 page research paper in Chicago style.

#4 I met my boyfriend of five years when I was in school and no, we didn’t go to the same one but had similar history of screwing up school.

#5 I don’t remember much about the course work. I was sick a lot and gained weight but burned it off. I learned I can’t take Cipro because I get all the side effects…

#6 I was on the deans list 3 times.

#7 An agent of douchebags (an ex) fueled me to go on/finish school.

 

 

Bachelors degree at a four year school

#1 I got a scholarship for doing well at the community college.

#2 I lived on campus for a year and had my own dorm room. Sometimes my boyfriend would stay over.

#3 One night, I was drunk and he took out a wine glass out of my fridge and dropped it. We went to bed and I climbed on top of him and scratched his face. He went home, mad…

#4 I drove my Malibu that had electrical issues; sometimes the headlights and turning signal worked, sometimes it did not. I got pulled over once for it and began crying and the officer let me go.

#5 My manager at my campus catering job let us stand in the back of the truck while she drove, dyed her hair red, and showed me a butterfly cookie.

#6 A hallmate drew a penis on my board.

#7 There was a certain incident with a hot tub and someone naked, I won’t talk about.

#8 In the shower, I head out with a towel. Another girl comes in and looks at me. Later she tells my boyfriend about how perfect volume my hair is and he tells her that I’m also bisexual.

#9 Dance club for a year and half.

#10 Took 3 studio dance training classes for college credit. One class required me to develop a routine with some girls… In one I had to slow dance with one.

#11 I called my mom and said I didn’t really like men and she said, “What you’re calling to tell me you’re gay?” No, no I said something along the lines of being bisexual.

#12 Starting my own dance routine for the club and canceling it.

#13 Feeling like I was constantly being watched and followed — I was.

#14 I graduated and you couldn’t pay me to go back there for anything.

Magic vs the Real world

Closet 

Leads to a magical world the protagonist(s) only know about.

 

In real life

You would think clothes, shoes, and junk back there. You’d be surprised how many people have sex, hide someone back there, and do a number of things we don’t want to know about. I wonder why we try to teach the children it leads to a magical world…

 

Invisibility

No one can physically see you so you can do whatever you want.

 

In real life

You may feel invisible but people can see you, especially if you make an ass out of yourself. You can ‘disappear’ by removing yourself from unpleasant people, things, or situations.

 

Carpet

It can fly, don’t need a car.

 

In real life

If I sat on a carpet and waited for it to fly, people would ask what is wrong with me. Out of all the things I could fly if magic was real, why a carpet? The only thing magical about is it captures water and crumbs I have to vacuum later.

 

Spells

Say something right, and you get it?

 

In real life

I wrote a bunch of poetry, why don’t I have anything I wrote about in it? Words aren’t enough. You have to make it happen.

 

 

Thoughts about the election

I’m aware I said I was going to let my URL expire, and I did. I haven’t decided yet if I’m creating a new one and so I am here to talk about the bullshit going on.

 

#1 If so many of you have an issue with Trump, why didn’t you vote?
I can’t tell you how many people I came across that said they didn’t vote, though they are registered and had nothing going on that’d prevent them from taking a few minutes out of their day to mark a sheet of paper. You can’t expect someone to win a election if you don’t vote for them. Then piss, moan, and start a riot over it like an child.

 

#2 Not happy with the result? Change it.
Go sign the petition https://www.change.org/p/electoral-college-electors-electoral-college-make-hillary-clinton-president-on-december-19. It probably won’t do anything about it given the rules set in the system for two hundred years. You could start another protest though all it would do is annoy the shit out of people. You could plan for the future so something like this doesn’t happen again.

 

#3 Take in consideration of what you’re asking people to do and if you would seriously do it in their shoes.
If you liked the person you originally voted for or pledged to, would you change the vote? Hell no. Would a bunch of protesters yelling at you, sending you messages, etc change your vote? Nope. What would you think of it? It’s ridiculous they expect me to change my view, sacrifice my job, and/or pay a fine for them because they don’t like the candidate. They wouldn’t do the same for me, why should I do it for them? I shouldn’t. I have nothing to gain from it. When are these people going to move on, grow up, and stop acting like children.

 

#4 I’m not crazy about who won either (and I did vote, for Hillary)
You don’t see me going around making a scene, posting about it on social media, or complaining to everyone I know about it. Why? Because that’s not me. He did say a lot of things I didn’t agree with either. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad man, but maybe a bad mouth. I don’t know him very well, I just know what I’ve heard. I know you shouldn’t a judge a person by their words but actions. Wait to see his actions, not words. Everyone deserves a chance. And if you disagree, do something to change it. Don’t go around like an angry child. It shows you’re the bad one, not him. Just my opinion nobody asked for but we all get sick of the nonsense.

Why I’m letting this expire

It’s time to move on.
I don’t see the point in writing randomly like I have been. Besides a small audience and some likes, I don’t gain that much of it. None of you know who I am (though you’ve read about it), I get zero profit for it and little recognition. I went in knowing all this and not expecting anything in return. Now I have to think more about how I manage my free time, spend my money, and what other goals I have in life that don’t involve survival or money. I would like to sell some of my work and write the novel I told my mother I was going to write when she was nearly dying of cancer last year (she’s no longer in remission so it’s possible the nightmare will start over). It forces me to think about everything in my life. I go on the defense and survival mode (if you don’t know what that means don’t read this nor talk to me — I think you’re an idiot and don’t care if you think I’m a bitch).

 

What will become of this?

I could pay for it to be renewed but I’m not going too. I could give it a new name but I don’t want too. I could create a new one with a specific/tighter focus but I don’t have the time for it. This is not a good time for me to manage a website. Anything you would get from me in writing would be more nonsense or things you don’t follow or relate too.

 

I’m sorry but not so sorry that this isn’t a funny or positive post. The truth is, I’m just done. It’s nothing you or anyone did. I can’t stay with this website or blog forever. I’ve outgrown it. Thank you all for watching the madness.

 

Note: The first category on this website was called, “C’est la vie” 

Sandra D

My name is not Sandra Dee
Grease came out way before I was born
I grew up disliking the movie and musicals

There was this boy that called me that
or sang one of those songs from the movie
around me
I didn’t think he was funny, I ignored him
I thought he was stupid
the only D in my name was in SanDra

My middle name starts with an L
on documents I don’t spell it out
it’s not required
only family knows it’s Louise
it’s my grandmother’s middle name

My last name starts with an M
none of them have a D in it though
my mothers first name starts with a D
and my younger sisters name starts with a D

Am I pregnant?

Something happened last week. I threw up in my mouth just before work. It was a few hours after I had a flat bread pizza. I asked my mother if the sauce was bad and she said it wasn’t, she made it from scratch. Guess my child doesn’t like it. If it is my child and not some alien baby.

The next day, at 6am I vomit my ice coffee on myself just before the gym. Some say maybe I had a bad one or the creamer wasn’t any good. I’ve had my share of shitty ones and none of them would make this happen to me. It should be noted, I didn’t/don’t feel sick; it’s something that strikes me. Yesterday I stopped what I was doing at work feeling like I was going to vomit on the floor and lower back pain. I took my 15 minute break and sat in the break room. The feeling went away. I told my sister and she said “prego”. She asked me what I ate and I said crackers and Mountain Dew. My child doesn’t like it either? I shouldn’t be drinking it anyway.

I don’t think I’m pregnant. Though it’s possible. We’ve gotten less responsible and use a “natural” approach to sex. I won’t lie about it nor discuss what I mean by that. In other words, if it happens; it happens. We will deal with it then and it won’t be the worlds business what we decide to do.

She likes you

About girls who are Type passive or hard to get.

 

 

#1 She makes in fun of you.

If not in front of you, behind your back to people she knows. They know you speak funny and should consider taking more showers.

Why? She’s a bitch but she still has some brain, morals, and standards. She can’t say, “I want to sleep with you.” That’d be wrong on many levels (but mocking you and/or being two faced isn’t?)

#2 She looks at you.

You’re thinking, so people look at people or she caught me looking at her which is possible. If you’re feeling there is an attraction between you, there most likely is.

#3 How she is around you.

Sometimes she seems shy, other times not so. Sometimes she speaks without thinking. She knows what she says doesn’t really matter.

We’re not the same

I’m blonde, she’s brunette
I’m tan, she’s white as a vampire
I like to go outside, she does not
I have green eyes, she has brown eyes
I’m 5’4, she’s 5’3
I’m 26, she’s 22
I’m a Scorpio, she’s a Pisces
I have tattoos, she does not

We have the same mother and father
I was older when they separated
We have the same job
and we’re from the same town
We have our nose pierced
mine is on the left
hers is on the right
I have a star shaped stud in
she took her circle stud out

I have a Bachelors degree in Creative Writing
she doesn’t plan to get a Bachelors in anything
We have Associate degrees
It took me longer to get it and I’ve gone to a different school
My AA was concentrated in Humanities
hers was concentrated in Social Science
I finished my entire AA online and got on Deans list numerous times
she did not

She had the same boyfriend since high school
I did not
I didn’t really have a boyfriend in high school
or friends for that matter

I’ve been with more people and had a far more questionable
love life
she’s been stable and committed in her relationship
they just got a house together

I’ve travelled to more places than she has
she choose not too
I’ve had more drunk experiences
she hasn’t really drank that much
I don’t drink much anymore
she still doesn’t either

She is vegan
I am not
I don’t most meat, however;
because I do not and have not really ever liked it

I am spiritual
I believe in Astrology, Paranormal, and Past lives
she does not
she has less faith
and interest in those things

I like History, especially Ancient and Philosophy
she doesn’t
I couldn’t tell you what she likes
the last thing I remembered is her making videos
with anime characters on Sony Vegas
or knitting something with my mother

I couldn’t tell you what songs she likes
all I know it is nothing I really listen too
and she most likely thinks and feels the same thing
about me

I joke about everything
she tends to be more serious
she doesn’t appreciate my jokes
and I continue to make them anyway
she is my sister and should understand
more so than the people who think
we are the same