The Annoying Survey

Do you agree all this information is true to your knowledge? [x] Yes [] No (I can’t say no because you won’t pay me.)

What is your age? 21

What year were you born? 2015

What year is it? 1989

What best describes your ethic background? [x] Other, Specify: Northern European and Russian / possibly Middle Eastern because my father was a pathological liar, he probably lied about where he is from too.

What is your annual income? Prefer not to answer

What is the highest level of college you completed? 4 years Bachelors

How often do you consume alcohol? 1-3 times a MONTH

How much of the grocery shopping do you do? Other, Specify: Whenever I want to get something which is all the time.

Do you have any children? No

Do you have a cell phone? DO YOU?

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I’m a nut case at night

I probably have every personality disorder in the book, it wouldn’t surprise me.

 

I say everything that comes into my mind
Twitter or text message. It doesn’t matter. Today I said a man threatened to kill me on Twitter. It’s not true. I went on about how I feel nothing and think my boyfriend is gay via text message.

 

Someone is out to get me
I must change my privacy settings on my social media accounts because some guy messaged me. He must be a stalker or clinically crazy because who does that? I can’t trust no one.

 

Someone is going to break into the house
I have to sleep with some sort of a light on because if I don’t Satan, an Alien, or some creepy man will come into the house and straggle me. They won’t take me because they like to keep me a prisoner here.

 

I can’t focus on anything and refuse to go to sleep
I’m not watching one video, I’m watching two videos. I’m also reading an article and asking Google if it was possible that I had sex with a demon. All while I’m texting three people and laughing in my room.

 
 

I’m not like this during the day. This is why no one should talk to me or listen to anything I say after 10pm.

How to be a blogger

Create a WordPress account.

Wait, WHY the fuck are you on here if you don’t have an account in the first place?

 

Customize your website.

Make a squirrel or rainbow your background, who cares.

 

Create a post.

Make a poem or paragraph about how you hate/love your partner, life, job, family, friends, celebrities, society, the world, or getting drunk on the weekends. Include photos or videos by choice…

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Facebook you vs. Real you

In a relationship = I didn’t want to put it out there but my partner is suspicious.

Single = I am not single, I’m in a relationship. I hope my partner doesn’t know I’m seeing other people.

Married = I am tied down for the rest of my life. If I cheat, nobody has a clue expect my partner. Everyone else thinks I’m great.

 

Status: “It was a beautiful day out. So thankful for my friends and family that came out. <3” = It was a horrible day. I can’t stand them but I’m going to pretend I do.

 

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Still wanna date me?

 

Job interview questions

“Why do you want to work for us?”
The money tree still isn’t growing.

“Why did you leave your last job?”
Old people harassing me. Okay… It was really a temporary job which meant ‘dump you whenever, bitch’.

“What did you learn in college that will help you with this job?”
When I’m pissed off, I’ll write about it and post it on the internet. Don’t worry, I won’t provide your name until I get published.

“Can you do a background check and drug test?”
I can but it’s a waste of time. You should ask me to do a pregnancy or STD test.

“What other qualifications do you have for this position?”
None. I was hoping you were dumb enough to hire me.

“What are your salary requirements?”
MONEY.

“When are you available to start?”
After I take a piss.

Facebook Use

When it comes to dating, we want to know what we are getting into before we make that commitment. A way to do that before we agree to setup a date — Facebook. What a person has on their timeline says a lot about them.

If they don’t post a lot, they have a job or don’t care much about social media. If they frequently post, it can tell you a lot about their activities or opinions. If they have a lot of pictures of them hanging out at the bar, you probably want to run. If they are conservative and you’re not, you probably want to run. You shouldn’t read into what goes on their timeline but you should read red flags.

If they have a lot of friends, they either know a lot of people in real life or added a lot of people on Facebook. Don’t mistake their status’, likes, or friendships for them actually having a life. In reality, they could be spending their Friday night on Facebook. If they have a few friends or their friend list isn’t showing, you have to get to know them to know about their relationships. They are private and do not have shallow relationships. It’s obvious on the surface they are not self-promoters.

If they take a lot of selfies, they have way too much time on their hands. Think about it… How much time does it take to a picture, edit it, and select the proper one? A couple of hours. Now if you’re doing that multiple times a week, you have nothing better to do. Would you want to date someone that isn’t productive and probably conceited, shallow, and lonely? Probably not. You know they’re going to be more self-concerned.

If they like or comment on a bunch of things, they are impulsive and bored. It’s not a bad thing unless they have an addiction to social media. When they start doing questionable things, you should probably talk to them. By talk to them, I mean really talk to them. Don’t message them on Facebook or send a text message. The only thing you should talk to them about is what is on their mind. Don’t bring up what they do on Facebook unless you have a reason like you saw a photo of them tagged with another girl/guy.

Facebook and Twitter Etiquette For Dummies

Facebook

 

Who to add…

People you actually know or met. There’s no problem adding ‘fans’ or ‘strangers’ if you know they aren’t some psychopath, criminal, or pervert — and you actually talked to them somewhere.

 

Try not to add…

Colleagues, professors, bosses, or co-workers. It is weird for them, and it is weird for you. If you do, do both of you a favor and don’t complain about work, life, or relationships. You have to be ‘professional’.

 

Avoid comments turning into a…

Private message or forum. Then everyone gets to know your business, thoughts, and feelings. That’s not something you want…

 

Status overload…

Selfies, rants, videos, or articles. Although some people like it, not everyone is going to. And yeah, yeah… there’s that whole ‘I don’t care if they like it or not’ — and right you shouldn’t!

…You’re entitled to your thoughts, feelings, and what you put out there. You don’t need to constantly share it with people who may be shallow or just not care.

 

 

Twitter

 

Follow…

Whoever you want.

 

Post…

Whatever you want. But if you’re posting twenty tweets every hour maybe you need to rethink…

 

Don’t post…

Whatever you want. You know you’re reaching more people then Facebook, right? If you start hate talking people, spreading conspiracies, and terror — the government will find you.

 

Telling people to follow you…

They will follow you. It’s okay, it’s fine for business — a lot of people have done it. However, there’s people that become OBSESSED with how many followers they get. It becomes a drug. It can turn a good person into a narcissistic, just like Facebook.

 

 

Facebook and Twitter…

 

This is just words from a persons experience. Everyone is different.

…How obsessed are you with getting likes, comments, tweets, and re-tweets?

What. Why.
Who cares? You shouldn’t care.
They don’t really care.
You know who cares…

Why I am mentally challenged on the Internet

I don’t know my own password.

It is the same for half my accounts, I still don’t get it.

 

I don’t know the answers to my security questions.

I don’t know what city I was born in because I wrote, “daklhdfkdlsjfds,” in the box.

 

I get my email address wrong.

I have way too many. It shouldn’t surprise me they won’t accept Innerbubblesx3420937@yahoo.com

 

I post photos I don’t like.

Then delete them within five minutes or the next day. It looks stupid… what was I thinking?

 

I post status’ I don’t like.

Then delete them within a couple hours or the next day. It sounds stupid and I look stupid for saying it… I knew it but posted it anyways.

 

I watch the same video.

Over, over, over, and over again like I got some sick obsession with it or OCD. But it’s fun….

 

I deactivate my account to reactive it.

I don’t know, I got annoyed… but hey at least I can claim to be gone for a month so I look less insane.

 

I write a blog post and delete it.

It was stupid… or I did it by accident when I was trying to edit it. How do I manage that… need some psychologist/computer expert to explain.

 

Stuff I look up on Google…

What are the signs of a psychopath?… Why is my boyfriend not talking?… Why does having my nose pierced mean?… Who is stalking me on the internet?… What are the signs of a Bi-Polar?… What are signs he is cheating on you?… How many parts are in a paint? … Is my boyfriend a psychopath?… What is a sociopath? … How to tell if your boyfriend is a sociopath?

Against.

Those who

Spread bullshit

Rumors and lies.

 

Those who

Talk about a person or group behind their back.

No balls to talk to them face to face in person.

 

Those who

Can’t speak, think, or act for themselves.

Need the approval of others.

 

Those who

Purposely indirectly/directly offend us.

Try to play mind games.

 

Those who

Make assumptions.

Don’t care to listen to the person they are judging.

 

Those who

Are more in love with themselves.

Self-promotion comes first.

 

Those who

Make you feel you do not matter.

You are too different to be ‘one of them’.

 

Those who

Don’t care to look at their reflection.

And wonder why someone blowed them off.

 

Those who

Have no problem watching and stalking you online.

Secretly dislike you because what you did, do, didn’t, or don’t do.

 

Those who

Make comments about how you should change.

Ignore you because you won’t, then gossip behind your back.

 

Those who

Hate you because you don’t worship the ground they walk on.

Hate you because you think, act, and speak for yourself.

 

Those who

Think you’re just another idiot running your mouth.

Don’t realize they are the reason you are.

 

Those who

Take what you say or do out of context.

Never stopped to ask you what is going on.

 

Those who

Think it is acceptable to lie, cheat, and steal.

Think it is acceptable to break the law.

 

Those who

Think it is acceptable to cause someone pain.

Think it is acceptable to ignore everything.

 

Those who

Won’t admit when they are wrong.

Continue to pretend they are perfect.